My Name is Steve,

For 13 years, I was married to an addict. The addiction didn’t surface until about three years into our marriage, but when I found out, I was determined to fix it. I clung to hope—hope that she would stop, and hope that I could somehow save her and our marriage.

But no matter how hard I tried, nothing changed.

I worked harder, pushing myself to exhaustion. I tried being nice, I tried being tough. I’d pray, plead, and push, but it was like running in circles. I was getting nowhere. Still, I felt responsible. I took on the role of savior, believing it was my job to make everything better.

Thirteen years later, I was stuck in the same spot. I felt defeated, ashamed, angry, and completely drained.

What made it even harder? I was a pastor, hiding all of this from the world. My situation was my dirty little secret. I had no one I could talk to, no direction, and—though it was hard to admit at the time—I even felt abandoned by God.

Then, everything changed.

I discovered something I had never considered: I wasn’t just stuck because of her addiction—I was stuck because of my own codependency. It wasn’t just about my wife’s behavior; it went far deeper, rooted in my own childhood trauma. I was broken long before my marriage, and her addiction only magnified what was already there.

Not everyone partnered with an addict struggles with codependency, but I’ve learned that most do. And until we confront those deep wounds within ourselves, we stay trapped.

Through years of hard work, healing, and God’s grace, my life has transformed. Today, I’m back in ministry with a renewed purpose: to walk alongside people just like you—people who feel stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn.

I don’t want to see families destroyed. I don’t want to see children caught in the crossfire of addiction and dysfunction like mine were.

And I want you to know this: God truly does transform lives, no matter how hopeless things may seem.

If you’re feeling the weight of your struggle, I invite you to take your first step forward today. Download my free guide and evaluation, “Navigating Love,” and begin learning about codependency—how it works, how it impacts you, and how you can start breaking free from it.

You don’t have to walk this path alone. I’d love to walk this journey with you and help guide you toward healing, clarity, and peace.

You are not forgotten, and there is hope.

Let’s take that first step together.

STEVE