For spouses and partners of those battling addiction
Ten Truths Nobody Told You About Loving Someone With an Addiction
This free guide contains what I wish someone had put in my hands years ago — before the exhaustion, the confusion, and the quiet unraveling of who I was.
The truth about guilt — and why their choices were never yours to carry
Why loving them well does not mean losing yourself in the process
What identity in Christ has to do with addiction in your home
The one thing most spouses never hear that changes everything
A Word From OUr Founder
My name is Steve.
For 13 years I was married to an addict. The addiction didn't surface until about three years in — but when it did, I was determined to fix it. I clung to hope. Hope that she would stop. Hope that I could somehow save her and our marriage.
No matter how hard I tried, nothing changed.
I worked harder. I tried being nice. I tried being tough. I prayed, pleaded, and pushed — and it was like running in circles. I was getting nowhere. And still I felt responsible. I took on the role of savior, convinced it was my job to make everything better.
Thirteen years later I was standing in the same spot. Defeated. Ashamed. Angry. Completely drained.
And here is what made it even harder — I was a pastor. I was hiding all of it from the world. My marriage was my dirty little secret. I had no one to talk to, no direction, and — though it was hard to admit — I felt abandoned by God.
Then everything changed.
I discovered something I had never considered. I wasn't just stuck because of her addiction. I was stuck because of my own codependency. It went far deeper than her behavior — rooted in my own childhood wounds. I was broken long before my marriage. Her addiction only magnified what was already there.
Not everyone partnered with an addict struggles with codependency. But most do. And until we face those deep wounds within ourselves, we stay trapped.
Through years of hard work, healing, and God's grace — my life transformed. Today I am back in ministry with a renewed purpose. To walk alongside people just like you. People who feel stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn.
I don't want to see families destroyed. I don't want to see children caught in the crossfire the way mine were.
And I want you to know this — God transforms lives. No matter how hopeless things seem right now.
If you are feeling the weight of your struggle today, this guide is my hand extended toward yours. It is free. It is everything I wish someone had handed me. And it is the first step toward finding your way back to yourself.
You are not forgotten. There is hope. And you do not have to walk this alone.
— Steve
